Toon Fortress
by Rai829
Summary: Team Fortress parody. The newest cartoon show has just arrived, a special sport of sort where two teams of nine toons fight it out in gruesome combat. This story tells of the matches and the general insanity that the toons face everyday.
1. The Classes

"Hello cartoon fans! If you're tuning in then you are officially watching the next big sport!" The young announcer eagerly shouted into the microphone. "Welcome to Toon Fortress, the combat-sport that lets watch all your favorite cartoon stars kill each other savagely with heavy firepower. Here's how the game works: there are two teams and nine classes, each class having different abilities, each team will get one of each class, then they are sent out into the battlefield to complete an objective before the other team can: though there might be special matches, just because we love the viewers. Let's check out each class, shall we?"

**Scout: Only true speed demons can become this class, as they are the fastest out of everyone. The scout class is best for rushes and distracting opponents. They carry a sawn-off lever-action double-barrel shotgun, a pistol and an aluminum bat.**

**Soldier: The soldier is extremely powerful (If we can get the right toons, anyway.) and has the capability to take out an entire team, but has the disadvantage of lugging around a heavy bazooka, making them much slower than other classes. Toons that play this class will be given the aforementioned bazooka, a shotgun and a sharpened spade.**

**The Pyro: The pyro is an ambush class, specializing in taking the enemy by surprise. Toons that play pyro will be given a flame-proof suit so their flamethrowers don't burn them if they malfunction. Pyros get a flamethrower, a shotgun and a fire-axe**

**Engineer: Only smart toons can play this class. The Engineer is the base of every defense, able to build different types of buildings to support the team. They get a shotgun, a pistol, a wrench and their most important piece of equipment is a toolbox that's filled with supplies that allow them to build sentries, teleporters and health and ammo dispensers.**

**Heavy: You must be strong to be a heavy, as they must lug around a mini gun that weighs a good 150 pounds, which makes them incredibly slow, but amazingly powerful. Because of this they are very big, slow targets. The heavy gets the mini gun, a shotgun and if they wanna fight close, they must use their fists.**

**Demoman: Demomen are hands-down the most dangerous class if their weapons are used correctly. They carry around nothing but explosives, allowing them to level entire bases. They get a grenade-launcher, a sticky bomb-launcher that has grenades that must be activated manually and a whiskey bottle (What? Haven't you people ever heard of a Molotov cocktail.).**

**Medic: A medic's job is to make sure their teammates don't die. Using their medi-gun, they can heal their team and build a charge that will make the medic and the person the medic is healing invulnerable for ten seconds. They carry the medi-gun, a needle-gun and a bone saw.**

**Sniper: Long-range kings, a sniper is extremely deadly in large, open areas, though they are not suited for close-range combat. They get a sniper rifle, an SMG and a machete.**

**Spy: The spy is the ultimate infiltration class. With their cloaks, they are able to slip past defenses, disguise as a class on the enemy team, come from behind and take them out silently. Along with the cloak and disguises, they are given a butterfly knife, sappers to destroy buildings and a revolver.**

"Well, I can already imagine the carnage, can you?! I sure hope so," The announcer sounded very excited as he looked directly into the camera. "The toons we have already chosen have refused to speak just yet, but this is understandable, as they still need to unpack at the mansion they've been assigned to. But guess what folks, this isn't an official episode, HA!! How's that for a crappy teaser? Until next time, folks!"

**XXXXXXX**

**Please review if you like the idea and wanna see the actual matches.**


	2. Battle of 2Fort

"Welcome back to Toon Fortress!" Chris McClain of Total Drama Island fame screamed directly into the camera, standing in front of the extravagant mansion, "You might notice I'm not the announcer from last time. The dude was fired because it turned out he was on 100 different drugs, I didn't even know there were that many in the world! Anyway, the first shipment of toons have finished unpacking and are ready for the first match. What do I mean by 'shipment.'? Well, these aren't the only toons, you see, this show is set up like wrestling: we'll slowly build a bigger amount of toons, then before the actual matches begin, we will choose who gets in the match and what team they will be assigned. Oh and not everyone will stay the same class, despite me and the producers having no souls we'll still give them just enough freedom to make things interesting."

Chris slowly walked toward the mansion, explaining everything to the viewers.

"Today's match is a classic game of 'capture the flag.' in a specially designed arena called '2Fort.'. Each team, that's RED and BLU, has a base, each base is completely isometric, you know one base, you know the other. It's up to each team to try and take the the flag from the enemy basement and bring it back to theirs. First team to get two captures wins the match. If no one wins in thirty minutes, then we'll go into sudden death, in sudden death there are no respawns, you stay dead until the round ends, at which point you'll respond like normal. Sudden death lasts three minutes, the first team to get one point or kill everyone on the other team wins. Now let's meet our combatants for this match!"

**RED Team.**

**Scout: Rev Runner from Loonatics Unleashed.**

**Soldier: Stan from American Dad.**

**Pyro: Kenny from South Park.**

**Engineer: Jimmy from Jimmy Neutron.**

**Demoman: Bender from Futurama.**

**Heavy: Schnitzel from Chowder.**

**Spy: Shego from Kim Possible.**

**Sniper: Finn from Storm hawks.**

**Medic: Johnny from Johnny Test.**

**BLU team.**

**Scout: Sonic from various media (Imagine him looking like he was in the Sonic X anime.).**

**Soldier: Numbah 4 from KND.**

**Pyro: Izzy from Total Drama Island.**

**Engineer: Edd from Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy.**

**Demoman: Billy from Grim Adventures.**

**Heavy: Peter Griffin from Family Guy.**

**Spy: Dib from Invader Zim.**

**Sniper: Wilt from Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends. **

**Medic: Spongebob from Spongebob Squarepants.**

"Wow! What a roster of toons, I didn't even expect some of them! It's the moment you've all been waiting for folks, the first match of Toon Fortress. Let's get it on!"

**XXXXXXXX**

The teams waited in their spawn rooms, waiting for the siren that told them it was time to bust outta there and wreak havoc on the other team. Each toon had been giving a vest that had their teams color on it, that way the stupider ones couldn't get confused.

"So, do we have a plan by chance?" Finn asked his RED teammates as he looked down the scope of the primitive rifle he'd been given, what was wrong with his old weapon, he didn't know, but apparently these new weapons were the rules and if you break the rules, you get a very painful electric shock.

"I say you guys rush in there like a bunch'a maniacs while I use you as meat shields and grab the flag once everyone else is dead," Bender proposed with a smirk before tipping his whiskey bottle back and taking a big swig.

"Mmmmmmh mmmmm hmmm!" Kenny replied in his muffled speech, which everyone could somehow understand.

"So? It's not like you die permanently, you'll respawn."

"Although not a terrible idea, who's gonna protect the base?" Jimmy asked. "And if one of us does make it down there, some of the other team will probably be respawned by then."

"Kid's got a point," Shego said as she leaned against the wall, "I was just gonna sit back disguised and wait."

"That may be so, but the true American way is to go in guns blazing, something I plan to do!" Stan saluted an imaginary flag.

And then they all heard it: the siren. Rev took off like a bat outta hell: Stan, Bender, Schnitzel and Johnny were going on the offensive, Finn set up at his perch, Shego cloaked and headed forward and Jimmy began building as Kenny stayed with him to look out for spies.

Rev jumped forward off the battlements onto the bridge's roof. But before he could even take an extra step, a gunshot rang out and he found himself laying on the roof, a hole right between his eyes.

"Oh no, I think that guy's dead!" Wilt fretted as he held his smoking rifle with his one arm.

Numbah 4 then spoke up through their head sets.

"_That's what's supposed to happen, Wilt," He said._

"But isn't that bad?"

"_Look, those are the rules, you don't wanna break the rules do ya'?"_

"Well, no."

"_Then shoot anyone with a red vest on. Oh and look out for their spy, I hear she's deadly."_

"Gotcha!" Though he didn't exactly want to, Wilt raised the scope to his eye, looking for any kill opportunities.

Hen heard this weird static behind him and tried to turn, but it was too late, Shego had buried her knife deep into his back. He went limp and fell from the battlements, slamming into the ground with a hard 'thud'. The pale-green villain smirked.

BOOM

If it wasn't for the fact that she was in multiple pieces, Shego would be cursing up a storm.

"That's for Wilt, she-harpie!" Numbah 4 exclaimed as he loaded up his bazooka.

He headed back into their base and made his way to the first floor. He turned the corner to make his way out, but was faced with about half the other team staring him down. He audibly gulped.

"Bite my shiny metal ass, kid!" Bender launched a grenade as Stan shot a rocket and Schnitzel let loose with his mini gun as Johnny healed him.

The bullets ripped through the young KND operative and by the time they ceased fire, the only thing left of him was his shoes.

"Now _that's _what I call overkill!" Johnny commented with a big smile.

The four then heard this strange clattering sound at their feet and looked down.

"Oh, rada," Schnitzel moaned as he looked at the many grenades.

Suddenly both teams felt the mother of all explosions rip through the map as Billy stood triumphant as the bits and pieces of his enemies rained down on him.

"That's gotta be worth, like, 100 points!" The young boy pumped his fist in the air, "I sure hope Grim and Mandy are watchin' me kick butt."

The big-nosed boy moved forward, exiting the base. Billy could see the RED sniper dot coming his way and quickly jumped into the water that separated the two bases.

"Damn!" Finn cursed as his prey dropped out of sight.

In the BLU base, Edd was sitting back outside the spawn room, watching as his sentry mowed down everyone that was foolish enough to try and get through. He had it positioned just so that it could shoot people when they entered the little courtyard, but could still protect the spawn room and the secondary entrance to the flag. Edd was certainly racking up the kills, the respawn times were just short enough so that there was plenty of fodder for his sentry.

Edd then watched in horror as he noticed familiar spiked, RED balls fly through the air in the perfect ark to his sentry.

"NO!!" He shouted.

BOOM

"AAAAHAHAHAHAHAH!!" Bender laughed evilly as he watched meat chunks fly out of the room, then took a nice, long swig of his whiskey, "Stupid kid!"

The robot moved forward for the flag, he had to be careful, though, just because the engineer was dead didn't mean he hadn't built any back-up sentries. He made his way down the stairs, surprised at the fact there were no more defenses.

"This too easy..." Bender whispered to himself, not noticing something slowly appearing behind him, "Almost like-AUGH!!"

The robot cried in agony as he felt the sharp knife enter his metal body and ripe through his programming cords. Bender fell to the floor, shut-down and dead as a doornail.

"I hope you're watching this, Zim!" Dib screamed, "Because once you get here or I go home, whichever comes first, this will happen to you!"

As Dib yelled, a blue blur rushed past him and up the steps. Sonic launched himself from the battlements and landed swiftly on the roof.

"Crap!" Finn yelled and began to fire.

The normally very accurate sharp-shooter stood no chance against something moving that fast and dodging competently, so he actually expected the aluminum bat to smash his brains out with one hard swing.

"Never thought I'd have to actually kill my opponents," Sonic said to himself and zipped down to the flag.

Stan watched as the blur zipped past him, spinning him about.

"What the hell was that?" The CIA man questioned.

Sonic turned the corner into the basement and ate a face full of hot fire. The hedgehog screamed bloody murder as he dropped to the floor, burning and singed all over. Kenny stood over his burning victim in his flame-proof suit. The boy screamed victoriously and raised his flamethrower in victory.

"Thanks, Kenny, I don't know if my sentry could hit someone that fast at it's current level," Jimmy said as he monitored his sentry.

Kenny gave the other boy a thumbs-up.

Rev was heading for the flag one more time. Now that he was aware of Wilt, it would be much easier. Indeed, dodging the bullets from the imaginary friend and shooting him were quite easy tasks and Rev zoomed past his corpse and began making his way down to the basement, completely avoiding everyone. He placed his back to the wall of the flag room and peered around it. There was Edd monitoring a sentry.

"It-looks-like-the-sentries-fully-leveled," He said in his super fast speech, "Not-even-I-could-outrun-it."

"He went down here!" He heard Numbah 4 shout from the top of the spiral staircase.

"Crap!"

He had to think of something fast, or he'd be done for.

"Guys!" He spoke into his head set, "I-need-help, I'm-pinned-down-in-there-basement!"

Multiple screams suddenly echoed down the spiral and before he knew it Shego was right next to him.

"You rang, rooster?" Shego asked with a smirk.

Ignoring the comment, the roadrunner jerked his thumb in the direction of the sentry.

"No problem."

In about thirty seconds, Rev was hearing Edd's screams as Shego sapped the sentry.

"Thanks-Shego!" Rev said.

"Don't mention it," The pale-green woman smirked and disappeared.

Rev grabbed the flag and bolted. Nothing could stop him as he rushed over to his base, easily scoring the capture.

"Yes!" The road runner pumped his feathery fist in victory.

"**RED team has gotten the first point!"** Chris announced over the loud speakers, **"One more and they win. Also, you got fifteen minutes."**

"Did you hear that?" Peter asked as he looked at spongebob.

"I sure did. What do we do now, that one point could throw off all our momentum."

"Hay, maybe the little spongy guy could get behind Peter and, like, keep healing him so they can rush in the base without Peter taking too much damage!" Izzy said, "I'll even come with you to check for their spy." The insane girl hoisted her flamethrower up.

"That's a great idea!" Spongebob said.

"Sweet! I can't wait to mow people down!" Peter readied his mini gun.

The trio charged across the bridge. Izzy shot her flames in Finn's general direction, obscuring the sniper's view as they rushed past. The crazy girl spewed flames in any general direction to make sure Shego wasn't lurking in the shadows. Peter revved up his mini gun and stepped into the courtyard. Just as they had expected, pretty much everyone came rushing at them from the second floor. Peter let loose, ripping everyone to shreds. They screamed and hollered and cursed as the bullets turned them into swiss cheese. Rev was able to get past the bullets, but was burned when Izzy caught him with a burst of flame. They advanced for the basement, the only people they hadn't yet killed were Jimmy, Schnitzel, Finn and Shego. Finn was no problem, seeing as how he'd probably never leave his post and Schnitzel wouldn't be too hard either, unless he also had their medic with them, Jimmy would be the hardest, the large-headed boy genius could just hide behind his sentry and not do jack.

The trio turned a corner and ran into something, a 'thud' echoed in front of them and Shego suddenly became visible.

"Uh-oh," She said as Izzy pressed the nozzle of the flamethrower directly into her face.

After a little spy barbecue, they headed for the flag room.

"Hey, I think I've got what that Chris guy called 'Uber'," Spongebob said.

"Sweet, this'll be easier then stealing candy from a baby," Peter said.

But before a cutaway could happen, Spongebob ubered the fat man and they rushed into the middle of the room. Bullets harmlessly bounced off of the glowing red shield that had engulfed the two. Within seconds the sentry was destroyed and Jimmy now lay dead on the floor, riddled with holes. Peter grabbed the flag and made a break for it, Spongebob still healing him. Izzy rushed ahead and flamed anyone that got close, allowing safe passage for the medic/heavy team to make their way out. Within a minute, BLU had secured their first ever point.

"Yes!" Peter pumped his fist.

"**Looks like BLU's got a point now! It all comes down to this. Who will win?"**

"Come on, meat bags! Let's go get 'em!" Bender took the lead.

All of RED team let out a savage war-cry and rushed forward for the bridge, even Jimmy went with them, holding his shotgun. BLU team had the same idea and met them there and the battle of the century began. OH MY GAWD!! The carnage! People were dieing left and right! Skulls were getting smashed in, throats were getting slashed, people were being blown up and literally torn to shreds from bullets. It was _EPIC!! Finn_ and Wilt had switched to their SMGs and were popping off shots. Dib and Shego were blasting and slashing whatever got in their way. Stan, Numbah 4, Bender and Billy were blowing people to smithereens. Even the engineers were fighting, good lord!! It was going on so long that anyone who dies had time to respawn and keep fighting.

Somehow Rev and Sonic had slipped pat their opponent sand were now headed for the flags. They saw each other go for it and not it was just a test of who was faster. They picked them up at exactly the same time and booked it for their bases. But Rev had an ace, he could fly much faster than he could run, so the second he got outside he took off into the sky like a freakin' phoenix. Sonic was so awe-struck that he accidentally tripped on a rock!

Sirens rang out, signaling for everyone to lower their weapons.

"**RED team is the winner!!" **Chris screamed through the loud speaker.

Team RED erupted into cheers, thrusting their guns up high, while BLU team angrily cursed and screamed, except Wilt, who was not a sore loser by any means.

**XXXXXXX**

"Holy sh-- ladies and gentlemen! Was that insane or what?!" Chris was once again standing outside the mansion, "I don't think I've ever seen such carnage!"

**XXXXXXXXX**

The toons shambled into the mansion, most of them sore and tired, and hung up their vests.

"I need a hot bath," Shego moaned as she made her way up the steps of the huge mansion.

"Rada rada," Schnitzel said as he collapsed onto the couch.

"All part of my training for when I encounter Zim next time!" Dib exclaimed and sat down in the recliner.

The battle was rough and the toons needed some well-earned sleep. Until next time, folks.

**XXXXXX**

**There's the second chapter. I hope I was able to capture the fast-paced, frenetic feel of the game (It moves really fast for a reason.). **

**I will not update until I get one review, so please review if you like it. And if you want to, you can give me characters you wanna see appear in the story and what class (Or classes.) you wanna see them be. The next chapter will probably focus a bit more on the interactions of the characters while they live with each other in the mansion, seeing as how this chapter was nothing but fighting.**


	3. Demon troubles

**Sorry for the long wait, but at least I'm updating (Something I can't say for my other stories.). I hope you enjoy the third chapter!**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG

Everybody screamed in surprise and fell out of their beds, ready for a fight.

"We're under attack!!" Finn yelled as he whipped his head around, looking for danger.

"**Not exactly, it's just breakfast time. Man, your reactions were hilarious!"**

"Rada rada rada..." Schnitzel groaned and got his apron on.

Seeing as how no one else could cook to save their lives (As shown by the fact they nearly burned the mansion down when they first got there, trying to make eggs of all things!) it was up to Schnitzel to make sure no one starved to death. The chef headed down the steps, seeing as how rock monsters don't need showers and all his clothes consist of is an apron he was ready and down there first thing. Putting the pan on the burner, Schnitzel plopped the sausages in and began stirring the pancake mix.

Numbah 4 was the first one down. The young Australian was still pretty sore from yesterday's epic battle, so he plopped down right on the couch, enough sleep still not in his system.

"Rada rada rada?"

"Yeah, pancakes sound good right about now," The boy replied.

"Rada." Schnitzel went back to work.

Soon everyone else was downstairs. Schnitzel served them breakfast and they all dug in. Today would be one of the 'shipment days.' as Chris referred to it, the day where more toons would be forced...I mean, have the pleasure to be a part of the show and it's high-caliber, intense combat.

For a little bit, the toons were almost certain that a show this violent that involved cartoons would've been canceled before the first episode was even finished airing, but just last night they learned this wasn't the case, people loved the show and it was scoring ratings through the roof, just based on its first episode. Turns out people like watching cartoons blow the _literal_ crap outta each other. Most don't know this, but people void their bowels when they die, so every time someone got fragged, they crapped, and if they were blown up, their ass-chunk was probably intact enough to let loose anyway.

But you don't wanna hear about people craping themselves (Or do you, you sick monkeys!), you wanna hear the rest of the story.

Anyway, eventually all the toons got downstairs and ate their breakfast, except Bender, who simply guzzled some booze and smoked a cigar.

"Toons!" The front door suddenly flew open as Chris walked in, grinning like a cheshire cat.

"Oh sh--, it's him..." Shego mumbled hatefully.

"Hey, it's that voice that speaks over the loudspeaker. HI, VOICE!!" Billy waved like a maniac.

Choosing to ignore Billy, Chris continued.

"I've got good news, there will not be a match today!"

Sighs of relief went around the room, being killed numerous times in one day can take a lot out of the person, most were still pretty tired and sore.

"The next match will be tomorrow, but the bad news is..."

Suddenly, a big crap-load of cameras popped out of nowhere and were shoved right in all their faces. Reactions were mixed, ranging from indifference to surprise and fright.

"When their isn't match, you'll constantly be monitored. Welcome to reality television!"

"Wonderful..." Edd groaned as a camera was shoved in his face.

"Hello, family!" Johnny eagerly waved.

"Hello, Bikini Bottom!" Spongebob also waved eagerly.

"Hi, Faster's!" Wilt joined in.

"Hello, ladies." Finn suavely smiled and did his double finger point-thing into the camera.

"I suggest you guys put on your best faces, the new toons will be arriving in the next hour or so. Have fun!" Chris turned around and walked through the door, slamming it as he went, leaving the toons with the cameramen.

"So-uh, you-guys-wanna-do-anything?" Rev asked.

"I'm going for a walk. Might as well check this area out a little bit to make sure it's all-American soil," Stan said.

Billy, Izzy, Spongebob and Rev followed the CIA man for some good ol'-fashioned exploriatin'.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Okay, so lemme get this straight, you got one big eyeball, but you got two eye sockets and two pupils?" Numbah 4 talked with Sonic.

"Yep."

"And how does that work?"

"That's a great question, I have no idea." The hedgehog shrugged a little bit.

"So, would it hurt if I poked ya' in the middle of it?"

"Don't even try."

"Sorry, mate."

The last thirty minutes or so had been boring as hell, suddenly everyone wished they had gone with Stan and the others to actually do something.

"I wonder what they're doing right now?" Dib asked as he tapped the end of his pen on his drawing pad.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

Stan slammed the pick axe down into the corpse's shoulder and yanked him back from the bloody sponge. He threw the beast against the wall and impaled it with a mighty swing of the pick. Stan stepped back, admiring his handiwork.

"That was fun!" Izzy exclaimed, holding a bloody meat tenderizer and smiling like the maniac she was.

"What-was-that?!" Rev exclaimed, holding a dented and bloody shovel.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say this corpse got possessed by a demon," Stan replied as he looked at the thrashing corpse.

"A demon?" Billy questioned as he looked at the decayed..._thing_ hanging from the wall, "He don't look like no demon I've ever met and I used to meets 'em every day back at Endsville."

"**You foolish mortals will not escape our wrath, we will feist upon your very souls for building on our sacred land!" **He said, his voice warped and twisted, as if the Devil himself was speaking.

"That's a demon, alright. Seems to be mad that the mansion was built on their 'sacred land.'," Stan mocked in a whiny voice.

"**I have been resurrected to clean this world of you _filth."_**

"What do you have against us?" Stan asked.

"**I have been resurrected to clean this world of you _filth."_**

"...Yes, but why?"

"**I have been resurrected to clean this world of your _filth."_**

"...Peanut butter."

"**I have been resurrected to clean this world of your _filth."_**

"That's the stupidest demon I've ever seen," Billy said.

"Where did the corpse come from?" Izzy questioned.

"If 'sacred land' is involved, then there's probably a graveyard around here in the woods somewhere."

"I'm scared." Spongebob shook like a leaf as he said this.

"Don't worry, it's not like something that's as squishy as a watermelon could be a real threat to us, even in big hoards we could just tear through them with all the weaponry back at the mansion," Stan said.

"Can we please go? I don't like this cabin," Spongebob said as he cowered.

"Aaahhh, I wanted to see if more would come!" Izzy complained and stomped her foot.

"Come on, people, let's find our way back to the mansion. Anyone remember the trail, by chance?" Stan asked.

A very large ripping sound suddenly caught everyone's attention and they whipped around to see that the demon had gotten off the wall and was ready for round two, holding the pick in his mangled hands. Stan had to get a weapon quick! The weapon rack was on the other side of the cabin, but the demon was blocking his way.

"Rev!" He called, "Throw me that scythe!"

Rev zipped over and grabbed the weapon. He threw it at Stan, but the demon reached out and snatched it right out of the air.

"Sh--!" Stan cursed.

Izzy came from nowhere and bashed the demon on the skull, doing very little damage. Before he could react, Stan dove at him and tried to wrestle the scythe from his hands, but the demon was too strong and easily got Stan on his back. Thinking quick for the first time in his young life, Billy grabbed a vase from a table and slammed it over the demon's head, dizzying him. This gave Stan just enough of an opening to grab the scythe and back off. He swung the weapon and caught his adversary in the cranium, taking him down to the floor. In a scene that would be just too much to describe in detail for a T-rated story, Stan severed every limb on the demon, its head, then just hacked it into little, itty-bitty pieces.

"Damn!" Billy exclaimed, his young mind warped from all the violence he had just witnessed.

Spongebob leaned over and hurled, while Rev covered his mouth and tried to hold it back, and Izzy just stood there, smiling the entire time.

"Okay...we can go now," Stan said in-between pants.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

Needless to say, everyone was rather surprised when they saw the five toons walk into the mansion, covered in blood and holding close-range weaponry.

"What happened to you?" Jimmy asked.

"We found an old cabin in the woods and a possessed corpse attacked us," Billy said as if it was an everyday thing, "Said somethin' about us buildin' on their land."

"It was awesome!" Izzy added.

"Did he look like that?" Shego pointed outside the window.

Everyone crowded around and looked outside. A corpse shambled around, groaning and moaning. He was heavily decayed and was about sixty percent skeleton. He shambled around with his arms stuck out in a typical zombie way, his mouth constantly open.

"No, our guy was different. Plus, that looks more like a zombie than something possessed," Stan replied.

"You sure? I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure most demons got them glowin' eyes," Bender said.

"Hold on a second," Stan said as he began walking away and out the door, holding the scythe.

They all watched from the window as Stan chopped the corpse down in two swings, then began heading back for the mansion.

"Crisis averted!" He exclaimed as he walked back in and gave a salute.

"Toons!" Chris exclaimed happily as he suddenly came through the doors.

He noticed the five blood-covered toons and smiled.

"I see you went into the woods."

"You knew about this?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah, I figured I'd just let you find out for yourself. Anyway, the new meat...I mean, toons are almost here!"

"Those poor bastards," Shego said as she slowly shook her head.

**New Toons.**

**Sam and Max from, well, _Sam and Max._**

**Tech from _Loonatics Unleashed._**

**Patrick from _Spongebob Squarepants._**

**Stitch from _Lilo and Stitch._**

**Flippy from _Happy Tree Friends._**

"Mmmmm m, mmmf?" Kenny asked.

As if on cue, the double doors were kicked in with a loud 'SLAM!' by a rather large, brown foot. Sam then stepped in and looked around.

"Sorry, folks, I figured you'd all be raging psychos ready to tear me and my little buddy Max into little tiny pieces," The canine said.

"Only in dreams, Sam," Max said as he cam in and laid his bags on the floor.

"What do you even keep in that thing, Max? You don't wear any clothes."

"All the necessary things to keep my fur nice and raggidy, Sam."

The other toons followed behind them, trying to ignore the insane Freelance Police.

"Spongebob!" Patrick yelled happily.

"Patrick!"

the two childhood friends rushed over and gave each other a big hug.

"Did everyone at Bikini Bottom see me in the last match?" Spongebob asked as he broke the hug.

"Yep! You were great!"

Stitch was saying goodbye to his ohana.

"Stitch promise to visit all the time," The little alien promised.

"Goodye, Stitch," Lilo said as she gave her friend a hug.

"Not goobye, later," He said with a big smile.

"Remember 626, these Earthlings have weak bodies, easy to crush-"

"Jumba!" Pleakley glared at the scientist, as did Lilo.

"_What_, it not like 626 kill anybody."

"Jumba, that's the whole point of this show," Nani said.

"But they not stay dead."

Flippy nervously walked in, twiddling his thumbs and breathing a little hard.

"Okay there, little fella?" Chris asked, completely aware of why Flippy was so nervous.

"I...I have a problem with fighting and violence. Are you sure I have to be here?"

"Of course! Why do you think we picked you, there's some good carnage to follow, I'm sure of it!"

Flippy's eye twitched a little as he trudged forward into the mansion, laying his things down near the couch.

And so Rev and Tech also started talking, but nobody cares about them (HA!) so we'll skip their boring discussion.

So they made themselves at home, unpacking their things and getting cozy.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

It was late and everyone was settling down for a good night of sleep.

In Stitch's room, the furry blue alien was having a hard time sleeping, his extra-sensitive hearing picking up the faintest of noises and it was starting to annoy him. The little fuzz ball got out of his bed and trudged down the stairs. The noise was getting louder, and Stitch was pretty sure whatever was causing it was heading towards them. It was coming from the back of the house. He made his way to the back door and peeked out.

"Uh-oh."

A large horde of corpses was coming their way, eyes glowing and he was pretty sure they were out for blood. Stitch quickly shut the door and ran up the steps. Stitch knocked on the first door, Sam and Max's. Sam came out, wearing light blue pajamas and yawning.

"What's goin' on, little guy?"

"Demons."

"What's this about 'demons.'?" Max came out, wearing the usual nothing at all.

"Looks like we've got trouble, Max! Is it big enough that we need to warn the others, Stitch?"

"Ih."

"Right, me and Max will go and distract 'em, go warn the others!" Sam took the lead as he pulled out his 3-foot-long revolver.

"_This _is going to be fun." Max's maniacal grin got bigger as he took his luger pistol out.

Stitch hurried on and woke the others, while the Freelance police hurried down to intercept the bad guys.

"You ready, Max?"

"Damn right I am, Sam! Hey, that rhymed!"

"Your random skills never cease to amaze me, little buddy."

Sam tore the door open and dashed out, firing off his gun with extreme prejudice and horrible aim. Max soon followed, blasting his gun in random directions, managing to blast holes in the demons simply because there were so damn many. Sadly, these tough suckers wouldn't even go down if their heads were shot off, it was starting to look a little bad. Suddenly, two rockets shot out of nowhere and blew about fifteen of 'em up. The two freelance officers looked back to see everybody else, in their sleeping clothes and holding weapons.

"I don't think I've ever seen so many people on the brink of nudity before, myself included," Sam joked.

**Soldiers: Sam, Stan and Wilt.**

**Scouts: Sonic and Rev.**

**Pyros: Izzy, Max and Kenny.**

**Demomen: Stitch, Billy, Numbah 4 and Bender.**

**Heavies: Schnitzel, Peter and Patrick.**

**Engineers: Jimmy, Edd and Tech.**

**Snipers: Finn and Flippy.**

**Spies: Dib and Shego.**

**Medic: Johnny and Spongebob.**

Then everybody charged.

The engies quickly started to build dispensers and sentries as everybody fought, Tech was able to get his up the quickest. A loud revving sounded as it activated and started firing shots into the horde, cutting down their ranks one after the other. Flippy looked around at all the violence around him, he started breathing heavy as his eyes started becoming more green in color, his teeth sharpened. It had happened, Flippy had flipped-out and was now brandishing his machete like his bowie knife.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" He war-cried and started tearing through any corpse that got in his way.

"Sorry about this!" Wilt apologized as he launched a rocket into the crowd, scoring quite a few kills.

The heavies were all lined up and were steadily walking forward, cutting through the horde with their mini guns as Spongebob and Johnny his behind them and made sure they didn't die. Sonic and Rev had commenced to just zipping around and taking shots at the corpses, usually softening them up so one of the others could finish the job. The pyros almost lazily sweeped their flamethrowers from side-to-side, burning corpses down as they walked forward.

"Kinda hard to see in the dark," Finn said from the second story window, "Oh, well. Better make these count."

A gunshot rang out as he fired, blowing the head off a demon, though he didn't go down.

"What?!"

Finn shot again, this time blowing his midsection a new hole, but the corpse still stood. Finn proceeded to just take pot shots, not once scoring a kill.

"Crap! Looks like I gotta do this the old-fashioned way." Finn pulled out his machete and headed back down the steps.

Bender shot stickies through the air, filling the area with active bombs of death. When he felt satisfied the metal man took a swig of some whiskey and detonated them.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM

Rotten limbs and guts were suddenly flying everywhere as the bombs took out an entire section of the demons.

"AAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHA!!" The robot laughed evilly as chunks of meat rained down around him.

Stitch took a sticky in his hand and shoved it in one corpse's mouth, then used his superior strength to hurl him into the middle of the crowd. I don't think I have to explain what happened next.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM

Billy, Numbah 4 and the soldiers were launching their weapons off with reckless abandon. The Earth shook as the explosions rocked the ground.

"We're gettin' gold!" One of the cameramen exclaimed.

Shego and Dib leaned against the side of the mansion, watching as their fellow toons obliterated the demon hordes.

"You see, kid, if you don't have to do anything, _don't," _Shego said to Dib, "Sometimes it's better to just sit back and relax."

"M'kay," Dib replied lazily as he watched.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

Sam panted like the dog he was as he lazily tapped his spade against the face of a downed demon.

"**Is that all you _got?"_**

WHACK

Sam used the last bit of his energy and crushed the demon's head, silencing it.

The toons watched as the sun rose over the hill. It was a hard battle, one that lasted all night, and now they were ready for some well-earned rest.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG

"You've gotta be kidin' me!" Numbah 4 yelled.

"**Attention, toons, it's time to wake up! The next match starts today and I'm sure you're all excited, so get ready! You have one hour."**

Everyone grumbled as drug themselves back to the house to try and perk up in time for the match. Boy, did life ever suck for them.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

**So there's the third chapter, the match is next chapter.**

**Please review, and if you want to, you can give me characters you wanna see and what class/classes, you wanna see them be. I might not be able to use all of them though and new ones will come along every five chapters or so (It all depends.). I will not update until I get at least one review.**

**Oh, and Kite Lanford, I am aware of the alternate weapon loadouts, but I play the 360 version of TF2, so I can't use any of them until Valve releases the updates for the 360, (Which I hope is soon.) so I won't be using them until I can get some hands-on time.**


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